Season's Greetings

'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.

So, this is going to be our first December 25th in our new land.

I can't call it by the C-word because it's very non-PC for risk of offending other religions and cultures. Apparently, the whole world has gone completely crazy and decided that this is how it's going to be. President Bush hasn't sent out a single card which wishes the recipient a Merry C.......s. Even Cliff Richard is getting in on the act and complaining about how London will be switching on the Winter lights this year and not the C.......s lights.

I say: Right on, Cliff ! We're behind you all the way with this one. Unless you sing Mistletoe and Wine again. If that happens, you will have lost any respect you may have garnered.

Throughout the year, PG&E (the gas and electricity company) have been on the radio urging people to keep their energy bills down by switching off air conditioning and lights when not required etc. but, because it's yuletide, most of our street has taken complete leave of their senses and are generating more light pollution than San Francisco airport. It's very pretty to see but, now, Sam has decided that I have nail some lights to the garage. So, we'll go to the local hardware store and buy some animated reindeer and maybe a few icicles. I have no idea where we're going to power them from. I checked some houses and most people are running extension cables from the garage to the grass where they have about 5 or 6 other cables spidering off that. There is no covering for the sockets and we've been having a little moisture in the air recently so I'm expecting blue sparks from most people's houses in the near future.

I had a close shave this evening because Rachel came up to me and asked me if I believed in Father Christmas. Apparently, the other children at school say that it's your Mum and Dad that puts the presents under the tree. I explained to Rachel that we couldn't put all the presents out under the tree so somebody must do it and who writes a letter to Rachel and Joanna every year ? Who eats the mince pie and nibbles the carrot ? Who drinks the glass of milk ? It can't be me or Sam so it must be someone else. Straight off the back of that question came another one about the tooth fairy. The other children at school, once again, say that it's Mum and Dad that put a dollar under your pillow. I asked Rachel where she thought the tooth went if it was me or Sam that did it. No answer for that one so I think the crisis is averted for another year.

That bloody school is destroying the tissue of lies that I have taken nearly 8 years to carefully build up based upon the trust that a daughter has for her father to tell her the truth. How's she going to believe me in the future that the biker she wants to go out with is a no good beatnik who isn't even fit to shine her shoes ?

At work, we're having an office party for the whole family. We're going to be bringing in a gift and everybody will be taking part in a Yankee Swap. I don't know if this is a genuine tradition but the US version of The Office has a funny example of it going completely wrong.

If my usual standard of keeping this journal up-to-date is maintained, I won't be adding anything until the new year so I wish everybody felicitations.

Bollocks to being non-PC. Merry Christmas, one and all !!